14 posts tagged “crap”

I'm feeling a bit sick to my stomach.

Michael Ausiello has figured out how many episodes of various shows will air before going dark.

The news is not good. Have I mentioned how much I despise the AMPTP?

30 Rock: Ten episodes will be produced. Five episodes have aired, so there are five left.

Back to You: Nine episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are three left.

Bionic Woman: Roughly nine episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are three left.

Bones: Twelve episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are six left.

Boston Legal: Fifteen episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are nine left.

Brothers & Sisters: Twelve episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are six left.

Chuck: Thirteen episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are six left.

CSI: NY: Fourteen episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are seven left.

Desperate Housewives: Ten episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are four left.

Dirty Sexy Money: Eleven episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are five left.

Friday Night Lights: Fifteen episodes will be produced. The sixth episode airs tonight, Nov. 9, so there are nine left.

Gossip Girl: Thirteen episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are six left.

Grey's Anatomy: Eleven episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are four left.

Heroes: Twelve episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are five left.

House: Twelve episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are six left.

Jericho: Seven episodes will be produced. None have aired yet, so there are seven episodes left.

Law & Order: SVU: Fourteen episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are eight left.

Lost: Eighth episodes will be produced. None have aired yet, so there eight episodes left.

Medium: Nine episodes will be produced. None have aired yet, so there are nine episodes left.

Men in Trees: Nineteen episodes will be produced. The fifth episode airs tonight, Nov. 9, so there are 14 left.

Numbers: Twelve episodes will be produced. The seventh episodes airs tonight, Nov. 9, so there are five left.

The Office: Twelve half-hour episodes will be produced. Eleven half-hour episodes have aired, so there is one half-hour episode left.

Prison Break: Thirteen episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are six left.

Private Practice: Ten or 11 episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are four or five left.

Pushing Daisies: Nine episodes will be produced. Five episodes have aired, so there are four left.

Reaper: Ten to 12 episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are three to five left.

Samantha Who?: Twelve episodes will be produced. Four episodes have aired, so there are eight left.

Scrubs: Twelve episodes will be produced. Three episodes have aired, so there are nine left.

Shark: Eleven episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are five left.

Smallville: Fifteen episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are eight left.

Supernatural: Ten to 12 episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are four to six left.

Ugly Betty: Twelve or 13 episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are five or six left.

...and you couldn't pay me enough money to watch.

The Emmy people have once again proven themselves morons completely devoid of taste. I'm sure nobody cares that I'm not watching, but I'll be abstaining in honor of Kristen Bell, Lauren Graham, Elizabeth Mitchell, LOST, and Friday Night Lights, to name but a few.

I much prefer TV Guide's Perfect Emmy Ballot (and predictions) and even Kristin's Couch Potato Awards. The Emmy people should take a hint.

Or three million.

Can I just say that I hate coughing? I mean, I doubt that anybody loves it, but I especially hate it. I wouldn't mind if I had a runny nose or a headache or a sore throat or muscle aches...but I can't stand coughing. I also can't stand puking, and that's what happens when I cough too much.

Anyway, I digress.

So since I am still sick and have absolutely no energy (which is probably a direct result from barely having eaten anything solid over the course of the past 12 days), I spent the majority of the weekend either propped up in my big green chair (complete with ottoman) watching TV or sprawled out on an air mattress in the middle of my living room floor sleeping. (A not-so-interesting aside: my bedroom fan has been threatening to twirl itself out of the ceiling and decapitate me, so I can't leave it on, and I can't sleep without the white noise, so hence the need for the air mattress.)

Yesterday I watched a lot of football, including Michigan getting humiliated by Oregon one week to the day after suffering the most embarrassing loss in Wolverine history. And this was after being ranked No. 5 in the AP pre-season poll. Yikes. Lloyd Carr might want to find himself a new job and save the university the trouble of firing him. Let's see. I also saw a little bit of the OU trouncing of Miami (this does not spell good things for Texas; I might be conveniently forgetting to TiVo the upcoming Red River Shoot-Out) and saw all three overtimes in the A&M-Fresno St. game. Stupid Aggies. Franchione lucked out, that's for sure. Then I got to see Colt McCoy, Nate Jones, and my 'Horns come from behind in impressive fashion to soundly de-horn TCU.

After football, I watched a mini Drake and Josh marathon that led up to the premiere of Nick's new show, iCarly, starring Drake and Josh's Miranda Cosgrove. It was created by Dan Schneider, the name behind the likes of Drake and Josh, The Amanda Show, What I Like About You, All That, and Zoey 101. Which basically means, I knew it was going to be well-written, well-acted, and pretty funny.

Sure enough, it was. Miranda Cosgrove is adorable. And like every other Nick star, it seems like she can sing, too -- she and Drake Bell sing the theme song. Nick must be pretty impressed, because before the premiere even dropped, it extended its original 13-episode order (pretty standard fare on cable networks) to 20 and then a whopping 40 episodes. That's practically unheard of.

About midway through the night, I became perplexed when I took a drink of my Dr Pepper, only to find it tasted like cough syrup. I'm hoping that my tastebuds have just gotten way too used to my constant imbibing of cough syrup and will return to normal when I stop coughing.

Up next was the Peyton Manning repeat of SNL. That was some pretty funny stuff. I have followed his career faithfully since his collegiate days in orange at Tennessee. Not only is he the best QB in the NFL, but he is surprisingly funny. Those Mastercard commercials are some of my favorite. Carrie Underwood was the musical guest and sang one of my current favorite songs, "Wasted." She is amazing. (And her fiddle player is all kinds of hot.)

Before I went to bed, I decided to watch an episode of Nip/Tuck because Brittany Snow was guest-starring as a white supremacist, and I must admit, I was curious. I've never watched the show before, and I've never even been tempted. I'm just not down with the whole hedonistic approach to life. I couldn't even finish the episode. Snow's character was revolting, but then again, I knew she would be; it was the rest of the characters I couldn't stand. They were all so despicable and so utterly unsympathetic. Just because all things are lawful? Doesn't mean they should be permissible.

I'll take iCarly any day.

One of my many pet peeves is when a movie is adapted from a book and yet bears absolutely no resemblance to the book at all. There are some instances where I can just enjoy both (although I can't think of a good example right now), but usually I end up hating the movie.

Anyway, I loved The Nanny Diaries. I loved the sarcasm, I loved the look into what I'm sure Manhattan socialite life is like, I loved the generality and anonymity of the characters -- Mr. and Mrs. X, Nanny, Harvard Hottie. Very few real names. I loved the story, although the way poor Grayer was treated by his parents broke my heart.

I was so excited when I heard they were making a movie. Until I saw the trailer, and then just now, part of the "making of" special on Oxygen. They gave Nanny an actual name. Um, defeating the purpose. They gave her another major/intended profession. They changed up nearly everything they could possibly change up and turned it into a.... comedy. The directors freely admitted inserting scenes and material not even in the book.

Instead of "based on the book..." they really need to start issuing a disclaimer that reads something along the lines of, "Very loosely based on but not really resembling in any form or fashion the book..."

I will so not be seeing this.

ETA: Michael's latest update on the story indicates that she *might* be replacing the current Elle Woods in Broadway's Legally Blonde. Okay, fine, that could be cool.

Well, crap.

Damon, on the very slight chance you're reading this, I have absolutely NO problem relocating to Hawaii. At all.

(Um, I also can't act my way out of a cardboard box, but surely that won't be an issue, right?)

From Michael Ausiello:
Exclusive: Kristen Bell won't be getting LOST

Total. Bummer.

The greatest casting coup of the century was apparently not meant to be: A spokesperson for Kristen Bell, responding to my report in Wednesday's AA, notified me late last night that my BFF won't be joining Lost next season. Although her rep didn't provide a reason, I did a little digging and my sources say Bell -- who was formally approached by Lost execs this week -- turned down the gig primarily because she didn't want to relocate to Hawaii.

Bottom line: It doesn't look like I'm going to be able to make this one happen for you guys like I did with that other greatest casting coup of the century.

Okay. So maybe it's my fault for not watching LOST the past three weeks, although this is a show I can't just have on while I do other things, like The Office or House or whatever. I have to pay attention to catch all the strokes of brilliance, and so I have to wait until I have plenty of time to take in and digest.

And maybe it's my fault for, I don't know, getting on the internet to CHECK MY MAIL, not troll for spoilers...

But GOOD FREAKING GRIEF. Do people have to spill the LOST happenings in the TITLES OF THEIR POSTS?????

And no, I'm not talking about Vox. I'm talking about Ausiello, Kristin, etc.

Kristin's first one was innocuous: "Don't Read If You Haven't Seen LOST."

No problem.

The second, and Ausiello's, gave everything away.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

At least it wasn't Jack or Kate.

And to be fair, it's not like...this happening...hasn't been telegraphed since "Flashes Before Your Eyes."

Yeah, usually, I can count on TV to be a nice little retreat.

Um, not this week.

Let's see:

1. Rashida Jones is leaving The Office, which means Karen's going to Corporate. Great. They'd better fix Pam, then, because if she's as annoying next season as she was this season, it's going to be a long year. (Oh. And here's hoping for a swift recovery for Jenna Fischer, who fractured her back in four places yesterday.)

2. Kristen Bell's going to Gossip Girl, which means I'll actually have to watch another show on The CW, because I remember saying something about how I'd watch Kristen Bell count carpet fibers, and hey, this might actually be the equivalent. Thanks for calling my bluff, CW.

3. Melinda -- the only contestant who has NEVER gotten a critical remark -- was voted off American Idol. At least now I don't have to watch the finale.

4. Close to Home -- maybe the only procedural I still watch -- was canceled.

5. Did I mention Veronica Mars was canceled? (And whatever, so it's not official -- the fact that Ostroff is waiting until after today, and possibly until her June 15th deadline  -- spells certain doom. Maybe Rob Thomas should've accepted that show-runner gig at Viva Laughlin.)

I've been so frustrated, I haven't even watched anything. I've still got two episodes of Heroes, two episodes of Lost, this week's Veronica Mars, this week's House, and this week's Bones.

I finally got around to watching last week's Grey's Anatomy, only to see poor Meredith get her heart ripped out by her father yet again. What happened to happy television, people?

Okay, I'm usually not a whiner, so I'm just...gonna go now.

...is that you get to hear your drugged-out neighbor's conversations. Because your apartment buildings are way too close and also because he insists on standing out on his balcony, broadcasting his business for the entire complex to hear.

I'm sitting here at the computer, blissfully minding my own business while downloading Fountain of Wayne's new CD, when I hear, "She doesn't want to talk to me because I cheated on her?" in this incredulous, surfer-boy tone that just bugs the hell out of me. Sorry, but dude? The nearest beach is three hours away. And the nearest decent beach is eight hours away.

Anyway, I digress. My point is, cheating is probably foremost on my list of pet peeves. Along with arrogance and porn. There's no excuse to cheat. If you want to hook up with someone else, whatever -- have the "integrity" to break up with the person first.

Period.

Going to close my windows now.

I'm watching The Fast and the Furious on USA.

Paul Walker cannot act. (But he's pretty hot.)

I want to punch Michelle Rodriguez in the face.

I've never really been into cars and could care less about racing.

I can't change the channel.

What is wrong with me?

...can it be 75 and sunny yesterday and frakking 49 and rainy today.

The weather guy even threw around the word "freeze." Which means farewell to all the bluebonnets and flowers and green everything.

Sigh.