23 posts from May 2008

I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and then it was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under.

I did not resurface.

                                                                                                      -- Stephenie Meyer

My face becomes a Picasso sketch, my body slicing into dissecting cubes. I saw a movie once where a woman was burned over eighty percent of her body and they had to wash all the dead skin off. They wrapped her in bandages, kept her drugged, and waited for skin grafts. They actually sewed her into a new skin.

I push my ragged mouth against the mirror. A thousand bleeding, crusted lips push back. What does it feel like to walk in a new skin? Was she completely sensitive like a baby, or numb, without nerve endings, just walking in a skin bag? I exhale and my mouth disappears in a fog.

I feel like my skin has been burned off. I stumble from thornbush to thornbush -- my mother and father who hate each other, Rachel who hates me, a school that gags on me like a hairball.

I just need to hang on long enough for my new skin to graft. Mr. Freeman thinks I need to find my feelings. How can I not find them? They are chewing me alive like an infestation of thoughts, shame, mistakes. I squeeze my eyes shut. Jeans that fit, that's a good start. I have to stay away from the closet, go to all my classes.

I will make myself normal.

Forget the rest of it.

                                                                                                          -- Laurie Halse Anderson

It's Nathaniel Hawthorne Month in English. Poor Nathaniel. Does he know what they've done to him? We are reading The Scarlet Letter one sentence at a time, tearing it up and chewing on its bones.

It's all about SYMBOLISM...Every word chosen by Nathaniel, every comma, every paragraph break -- these were all done on purpose. To get a decent grade in her class, we have to figure out what he was really trying to say. Why couldn't he just say what he meant? Would they pin scarlet letters on his chest? B for blunt, S for straightforward?

I can't whine too much. Some of it is fun. It's like a code, breaking into his head and finding the key to his secrets. Like the whole guilt thing. Of course you know the minister feels guilty and Hester feels guilty, but Nathaniel wants us to know this is a big deal. If he kept repeating, "She felt guilty, she felt guilty, she felt guilty," it would be a boring book and no one would buy it. So he planted SYMBOLS, like the weather, and the whole light and dark thing, to show us how poor Hester feels.

I wonder if Hester tried to say no. She's kind of quiet. We would get along. I can see us, living in the woods, her wearing that A, me with an S maybe, S for silent, for stupid, for scared.

For shame.

                                                                                                           -- Laurie Halse Anderson

I don't remember passing out. David says I hit my head on the edge of the table on my way down. The nurse has to call my mom because I need stitches.

The doctor stares into the back of my eyes with a bright light. Can she read the thoughts hidden there? If she can, what will she do? Call the cops? Send me to the nut house? Do I want her to?

I just want to sleep. The whole point of not talking about it, of silencing the memory, is to make it go away.

It won't.

I'll need brain surgery to cut it out of my head.

                                                                                                                -- Laurie Halse Anderson

I admit. I've been kind of burned out on movies -- well, burned out at going to the theater to see them, anyway. Sometimes the trade-out between seeing a movie on the big screen and getting the full effect of the crowd experience isn't worth stupid crying babies (or rather, stupid parents who a) bring babies to movies and b) let them cry), cell phones, or obnoxious 13-year-olds.

However, I saw Prince Caspian yesterday and it was absolutely amazing. The whole experience was awesome. What a fantastic movie -- I thought it was even better than The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and can't wait to see what the Walden Media PTB do with The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. CS Lewis was such a fantabulous storyteller.

That led me to do some research on the upcoming summer/fall blockbusters and I realize that there are over a dozen movies that I'm either interested in seeing, excited to see, or ridiculously excited to see premiering over the next few months.

I am still dying to see Iron Man, and I want to see Baby Mama and Made of Honor, although the latter two might end up being Netflix selections, just because I am more anxious to see some of the other big movies.

The six movies that I am positively, ridiculously excited to see are as follows (in order of release date) -- and some will include trailers:

1) The Dark Knight, July 18: I *loved* Batman Begins. Took Kevin and Mia to see it on the IMAX and we all were speechless. Christian Bale is by far the superior Batman, I can't wait to see how Heath Ledger interpreted the Joker, and I'm so glad that Maggie Gyllenhaal has replaced Katie Holmes. That was smart casting. Or recasting, as the case may be.

Friday night was one of those nights. I hung around at home but I didn't know what I wanted to do. I'd been home all day long. I'd blogged two or three times. I'd slept. I didn't want to read anything. I'd watched some TV, but there's never anything on Friday nights, especially now that I've totally become disinterested in Moonlight. I've got a couple hundred movies, but I couldn't decide what to watch.

So I popped in The Messengers, but watched it with the audio commentary, which I hadn't done yet. It was Kristen Stewart, Dustin Milligan, two producers, the visual effects guy, and one of the writers. It was a great commentary. I learned a ton about the making of the movie, the original script, what the Pang brothers did when they came on board -- originally there were to be no supernatural components, but rather more like The Shining -- but they wanted a good, simple ghost story.

And I came away really, really liking this movie. I originally saw it because of the cast, and because I am a fan of the psychological scary movies, but I like it so much more than I did originally.

It truly scared me. The slasher movie faithful claim it's unbelievable and unrealistic. Yeah, and a guy with knives for fingers that kills you in your dreams is totally believable. I don't believe in ghosts for a minute -- not at all -- and I was still totally creeped out by The Messengers.

Listening to the commentary, I saw more why that was the case. For one thing, the writers who adapted the Japanese original gave it a pretty plausible plot and back story rather than just throw a bunch of characters in a creepy setting and subject them to a bunch of blood-and-guts horror. In the typical horror movie, there's hardly any characterization, and the plot development -- if any -- is usually an afterthought.

For another, they decided -- very brilliantly, may I add -- not to go the usual D-list horror movie casting route. (Seriously? Paris Hilton and Chad Michael Murray were supposed to be convincing in The House of Wax? Seriously?) All of these actors are established, and are good. Dylan McDermott. John Corbett. Penelope Ann Miller. (Forget that I said she couldn't act. I've changed my mind after watching the movie again.) Kristen Stewart. Even Dustin Milligan, who was so cute in In the Land of Women, and the two-year-old twins cast as Ben are good.

Kristen's performance is actually one of the reasons that I was so scared. She is one of those actors who inhabit every role she's in. It doesn't look like she's just, you know, acting to get a paycheck. She really becomes her characters. And she wears terrified well. There were scenes that are typical of a scary movie and could've been totally cliched, and she made them work. She is an absolute rockstar. She was getting in trouble because she was doing too many of her own stunts and getting hurt in the process.

She nailed the emotional scenes, and I just roll my eyes when people say otherwise.

As I've said countless times, I hate slasher movies. I think movies like Friday the 13th and Halloween define lame. I think that's one of the reasons Scream did so well -- it totally bagged on movies like that. But movies like The Shining and The Messengers and The Ring scare the everliving crap out of me. Especially when you have some of the creepy spookiness The Messengers delivers in frakking broad daylight.

Cerebral, subtle terror is so much scarier than blood-and-guts. Anyone who says otherwise has been desensitized by crap.

This is perhaps the scene that freaked me out the most -- and it does even more now after I listened to them in the commentary describe how they shot it. (Can I just go on record as saying that little boy is ADORABLE? They got some pretty good performances from him, especially since he was not quite two.)

I think I got about four hours of sleep last night, so these might be interesting, and not in altogether good way, but rather a sleep-deprived, random, scattered way.

Anyway.

1.  I'm watching Regis and Kelly, and they've got this 11-year-old math genius. I'm all about fostering intelligence in one's kids and encouraging advanced education, etc. That's precisely why, if I have kids, I'm going to homeschool them. (Well that, and the fact that I don't want the liberal-choked teacher's unions to warp their brains.) However, I think the parents of kids such as this 11-year-old math whiz are doing them a great disservice by not teaching them social skills. I'm not saying they should be all pop-culturally oriented or whatever. However, they should be able to carry on a freaking conversation and be able to, I don't know, emote. Seriously. This kid was a robot. Jimmy Kimmel (guest-hosting) and Kelly were being friendly and funny and asking him different questions, and he barely responded. Never cracked a smile or really even changed expression. It was kind of pathetic.

2.  I watched Grey's Anatomy last night because I forgot to cancel my Season Pass and honestly, I can't believe that a couple weeks ago, I was absolutely raving about its post-strike return and yet last night was ridiculous and uneven and pandering and did I mention ridiculous? It's pretty sad when a show I used to revere for its characterization has painted normal, sweet, emotionally stable characters like Lexie and Rose as being somehow, I don't know, abnormal or, in Rose's case, almost villainous. Cristina behaved so out of character last night I almost didn't recognize her. Don't get me started on the stupid, unrealistic and insipid Callie-Hahn storyline. The writers ruined what was an awesome storyline -- and Emmy-worthy performance by Elizabeth Reaser -- when they took the Rebecca-Alex story down the  ill-fated soap opera path it's on. I'm so glad Reaser is getting her own show in The Ex List next season, and am even more excited that she'll be playing Esme Cullen in Twilight come December. Steve Betz and I commiserated on the decline of Grey's recently and he made a point that I whole-heartedly agree with: the decline started as soon as the writers started trying to tell the stories of too many characters. Sloane, Callie, the despicable Hahn, even the Chief and Bailey -- they're minor, supporting characters. Frankly, I could care less about their personal lives. Perhaps Steve's best point was that Bailey was always the rock and I loved her unshakable, "at work" mentality and how she was such a stabilizing force for the interns/residents. Now that isn't the case. I don't want to see her fall apart. Anyway, I find I just don't care about this show anymore. At all. And though there are no details forthcoming, if ABC president Steve MacPherson's comments (and the analysis of those comments) are to be believed, Shonda's planning some drastically different directions for the show next season that nobody is all that enthused about. I'm glad to be getting off the train before it derails.

3.  The Office finale was probably the best episode of its season, and maybe the best since "Casino Night." I loved it and didn't even notice that it was an hour -- and I'm one of those who believe super-sized episodes are too much of a good thing. The cold open was HILARIOUS, and my obsession love for Jim Halpert (and John Krasinski) has been heightened. If that is possible. (Is cloning really so immoral if it's used for good -- namely so that Cori and I can both have him?) I wasn't spoiled, but I figured that Jim and Pam wouldn't get engaged, only because we knew it was coming, and so how would it be a surprise or somehow shocking if it happened in the finale? I am so glad the writers have fixed Pam because as I've said before, my love for her has returned to Season 1 and 2 levels and I'm happy to forget Season 3 Pam. Also, how great is Amy Ryan as the very Michael-like Holly? I look forward to seeing more of her next season.

4.  The penultimate episode of Bones was beyond awesome. Best this season, and that's saying a lot, because Bones is one of those shows that -- almost non-traditionally -- has gotten better with each season. I am regularly amazed at how frakking funny David Boreanaz is. His comic timing is unbelievable. And it goes without saying that his chemistry with Emily Deschanel is fantastic. I am so excited that John Francis Daley has been brought on as a regular cast member instead of just recurring. It's so weird to see him all grown up after watching him as the tiny, adorable Sam Weir on Freaks and Geeks, and I now have a ginormous crush on him. He's so very Acronym-y.

5.  The first part of the House finale -- "House's Head" -- was phenomenal. As with Bones, best this season, even topping the awesome post-Super Bowl episode. Hugh Laurie is bound to get yet another Golden Globe and Emmy nomination for this performance alone, and gee, maybe he'll even win the Emmy this time. It's long past due. The man is brilliant. Also, as an unimportant aside, I can never call Thirteen by her real name. The first and last names don't go together. At all. And her first name is...weird. So yeah. Thirteen it is.

6.  No, I haven't watched the first part of Lost's three-part finale, because there's just the little matter of the four previous episodes I still have to watch. And I know, as always, I'm setting myself up to be spoiled -- and I already know a couple of things -- but I'm looking forward to diving face-first into, like, five (what better be) spectacular hours of the best show on television.

7.  If you didn't see my previous post, you must check out the bits of Fringe and Dollhouse that have leaked. They both look awesome -- especially Fringe -- and I expect Fringe alone to replace a woefully derailed Heroes as the sci-fi cult show of the moment. It could possibly reach Lost heights.

8.  And because I wouldn't be my obsessive self without a mention, I thought I'd post a yummy Edward Cullen picture. Because last night in my four hours of sleep, I dreamed that he turned me into a vampire. It was...lovely, and I definitely didn't want to wake up. Would that any boy (especially one this dreamy) look at me like this...

Vampires are awesome

FOX has released a three-minute trailer for Fringe -- also known as the show that has me almost as impatiently excited as the Lost pilot -- and you can bet that trumps any personal post from me.

I was freaking out while I watched it. The X-Files wishes it was ever this freaky.

And if that weren't enough, about 72 seconds of the Dollhouse pilot have surfaced.

I believe my exact reaction after watching both back-to-back was something along the lines of -- and I'm trying to get the exact wording and inflection -- HELLS YEAH!

(Also? Tahmoh Pinkett is HOT. I thought so all during my love affair with Battlestar Galactica and I'm just hoping we get to see him lose the suit.)

I am going to attempt a quasi-personal post, but my ability to blog has so diminished -- seriously, I used to blog fairly well and now I can barely come up with an adequate review -- so I can't promise how interesting it'll be.

Downloaded: Everything in Transit by Jack's Mannequin and Narrow Stairs by Death Cab for Cutie. I will always be indebted to Seth Cohen for introducing me to Death Cab. I heart them. And Seth Cohen. And Adam Brody, for that matter.

Finally: Achieved the correct dark brown shade for my hair. After, like, three tries.

New shape: To my eyebrows. I do not enjoy waxing and can't imagine how people have it done to other parts of their bodies. Especially...certain parts.

Newly obsessed: With Top Chef and am happy that I somehow get Bravo (even though I'm not supposed to) and that Bravo was running Top Chef marathon all day long.

Adoption: Process at the Boston Terrier rescue in Houston has begun and I expect to have a dog by the end of the month, or the first part of June at the latest.

Perfected: My 1170-calorie diet and may be the first person I know who actually lost weight on vacation. I'm currently in between sizes, which is annoying, but a good type of annoying.

Disney: Was fun but I'm glad I'm home.

Bored: To tears. By my own post. So I'll be returning to my regularly scheduled pop culture blogging.